Saturday, August 10, 2013

Confusion 2

perhaps this is the answer of my confusion of my last week post...Im glad i finally figure it out myself :) tis is also the answer of why I broke up with my ex :) I gain freedom after I did tat :D

Yesterday Sam ask me for hang out today, yup, just me and him, at first I was worry that it would be awkward because only me and him go out together, but is exactly the opposite! xD the feeling is different when I go out with my brother gang or my ex, is casual...we just talk watever we pop into our mind, and non stop xD i feel like is a whole different relationship between me and him, talk abt how me and Sam know each other, we are classmate from standard 4 to standard 6 in primary school, then same car from form 1 or form 2 to form 4 and my classmate again in form 5 in our secondary school, we also enter NS at the same time but different place but we would chat everytime we get our phone back during the 3 months NS life. Now after NS so long we haven't contact each other and we finally meet again :)

Hmm...wat is the relationship between me and him? ex-classmate? ex-car pool? is like...more than friend, less than best friend, different from being a "brother" and less than romantic relationship.... wow such complicated relationship, he is really a special friend of mine :) I hope I can keep the friendship like this to the end, Im sure he will, because he is such a special friend of mine :)

Ah !! I know!! is this call a "bosom buddy"? I can talk to him so casually, we can share whatever things about us, even porn even though we are opposite gender haha, but even though, we didn't contact each other so often, but when we do, we just talk and talk and talk......

Do I have feeling for him? I cant even say so myself anymore, since the pass incident had garbled my ability to interpret of having REAL feeling for a boy, now, I have equal feeling for boys, even got different feeling I will also consider it as the same feeling I have for other boys, I cannot differentiate it anymore, I'm scare to make another mistakes anymore, so, maybe I have feeling for him or maybe not, just like with other boys I interact with, What have happened to me???